Hopefully the sun will be out more consistently now.
I’m torn between two feelings, unsure which I like the most. There’s the one where I feel less human than anyone else. Like some part of me is missing. Not just defect, but never there to begin with. But there’s also the one where there seem to be less and less humans to compare myself against. A society that set itself up to fail slowly eating its people.
They’re both exquisite feelings and there’s really nothing quite like the dreading of existence that come with their kinds of alienation. Wanting to hold on to something but feeling everything’s just too strange.
Think I prefer the latter one, simply because large-scale failure is such an interesting thing to behold.