Fang Talks

Fresh and fruity!
27 02 17

High and dry

Imagine a flood.

Living in the Netherlands, we’re naturally boned when it comes to water things. Hell, only slightly more than 50% of the country is comfortably above sea level, and that number is just going to keep on decreasing. It’s made us good at engineering, we’re holding up against the elements pretty well, but just imagine everything suddenly failed and the country got spilled over. I live on the third floor of an apartment complex, so I’d say I’m pretty safe.

Safe, but isolated. So I order a boat online, get it shipped (heh) to me, and can now actually leave my house again without getting wet. Neat! But then, all supermarkets are at ground level, so what do we do about those? Currently, there’s one guy making a business for himself with a supermarket on wheels. He basically goes around and brings the store to the old people so they don’t have to risk their lives outside. Sounds like he could make even better money if he transitioned to boat in our post-flood world!

Summer’s gonna be great, but what about winter? Our flooded landscape is unlikely to completely freeze over, but it just might. The Dutch are good ice skaters, so we’ll have a blast getting around. People would rejoice, praise the flood as the best thing that ever happened. Until the ice thaws and we’re back to boats again.

I completely forgot most homes would’ve likely been completely covered by the flood though. Too bad I can’t host ’em all.
~ Fang


  • 02/03/2017 (1:36 PM)

    Yeah I’m in the middle of the country and probably pretty safe from rising sea levels. Sucks to be you.

    Seriously though maybe you should consider investing in a house boat when you become a millionaire. Make it a big one and then you can corner the floating supermarket market.

  • 01/03/2017 (2:30 AM)

    I’m sorry but I can’t hear you from all the way up here, a mile above sea level, in the middle of the country.

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