Fang Talks

Is that a short joke?
07 01 17

The List

‘Watch it, asshole!’ he yelled, though the driver that cut him off wouldn’t be able to hear. ‘You’re going on The List!’

‘Whereabouts do you want him?’ I asked from the back seat. ‘Middle-low?’
He sent out some angry honks as the other guy sped away. ‘Did you see that shit? We could’ve been dead! Definitely closer to the middle of The List.’
I scrolled back up again to type a vague description of “the asshole” down. Keeping a physical List had become too big of a hassle very quickly, so we just kept a shared digital document instead. The thought of making a dedicated application for The List had crossed my mind, and it’d certainly help keep things tidy, but plain text remained good enough for now.

A sudden outburst from the passenger seat. ‘Hey! Before I forget! Did we ever put those people that get into trains before others have exited onto The List? Not too high, but don’t they deserve a spot?’
‘I believe we did, actually.’ the friend next to me said. ‘Didn’t we assign endless queuing to them?’
More scrolling had gotten me to their position on the list, practically at the bottom of it. ‘Correct. Still one of the better punishments we have on here.’

Everyone needs the concept of The List in their lives. “He’s going on the list” as shorthand for all variations of “fuck I hate that guy” is immensely powerful.
~ Fang

Comments

  • 08/01/2017 (5:58 PM)

    I used to keep a list of types of people I’d do something about once I became dictator.

    Now, the US is ab out to have a President who does that and it doesn’t seem so glamorous.

    Mostly, though, I’d do something about the customers in convenience stores who spend 20 minutes buying different types of lottery tickets when I am standing behind them with one item.

    Those people should go on a list.

Post a comment

Your email will stay hidden, required field are marked with a *.

Experimental anti-spam. You only have to do this once. (Hint: it's "Fang")