I’m having second thoughts about how confident I feel about my internship.
Numerous people have, upon hearing of my internship project, told me it wasn’t a small one. No, quite the contrary, “that’s quite the task, isn’t it?” In response I can ever only gulp, then joke how I’m not getting paid enough for this shit. But the payment is education and proof of it, so what does that really say? Regardless, a lot of very experienced people are doing a good job of making me feel like I’m drowning in the ocean when I was content barely moving forward in the deep end of the pool.
A short four months before I have to turn in my thesis. My thesis on “the best” way to get from A to A’, where A’ will need to be “the best” version of A modified based on certain wishes and criteria. The real deal is a lot more nuanced than that, but still very vague too. I haven’t done theoretical research like this before, I haven’t touched systems this large before, I haven’t been told to ask this many people for their reasoning for doing x over y before.
I haven’t felt this intimidated by a project before. There’s something exciting about that. If only I could harness that feeling instead of succumbing to it.