I talked about thriving on praise some time ago. This may tie into that in some ways.
The post I just linked went over how you shouldn’t have praise and the satisfaction of others be your primary source of motivation. Pretty straightforward, pretty logical. Right? Well, I’m sort of having trouble following my own advice. I can’t distinctly remember when this started. Maybe I’ve been like this all my life? Snap…
As most every average human being, I feel the warm fuzzies inside whenever someone notices my work, effort, attitude, whatever, and praises me for it. I like it when people notice me and the things I do. No, I need it. I crave it sometimes, even. Hell, I don’t give a shit what you think, just give me feedback, some sort of response, something to let me know you saw.
This causes me trouble when I want to keep a project secret. This causes me pain when a project needs to stay secret. Or worse, when there is no opportunity to talk about it with people face-to-face, one-on-one. I want their opinions, their thoughts, on the things I create, the person I am. I want you to tell me there’s too many fucking commas in this piece, twenty already in three measly paragraphs.
But I know that’s selfish. So I just keep silent and hope for the next sign of acknowledgement to come soon. Soon enough to keep the signs of withdrawal at bay.