Fang Talks

Oh, Comely

Let’s see what little Robbert is up to. (previous)

So we waited and waited for Rob to exit his house again. It took some time, but there he was again. He suspiciously looked left and right before closing the door behind him. What was that thing he was carrying? A black garbage bag. He shook it a bit and I heard him mumble, ‘Stinky little animal.’ With an odd smile on his face he walked towards the garbage container further down the street.
‘Oh no,’ I turned to Charlie. ‘Is that maybe…’ The very thought of it sent a chill through my spine. I had expected Rob to be a no-gooder, but this was more extreme than I could ever have imagined.
It… may very well be.‘ Charlie sighed. ‘Now’s the time to confront him.

‘Stop!’ We caught up to him when he was about to open the container. A couple of flies buzzed in the air. The only witnesses to the inevitable showdown. ‘Put the bag down!’
‘Huh?’ Rob turned around, acting innocent. ‘Aren’t you that kid, Pip?’
I puffed up my chest and crossed my arms. For now, it was all about the intimidation. ‘Detective Pippin. Charles and I think you know about a missing cat?’
‘Uh, no? And who’s Charles?’ He lifted the lid of the container, and swung the bag into it.
I dashed forward and could grab hold of it just in time. Locking eyes with the suspected murderer, I told him, ‘Open the bag.’
His face spoke of disgust. ‘Why would I?’
I gripped the bag a little stronger. ‘Because I ask nicely and you don’t want trouble.’
‘Piss off.’ He tried pulling the bag back to him, but I wouldn’t let go. A fierce game of tug-of-war ensued and eventually, the thing tore open.

A brown, thick gooey substance fell to the ground and splattered onto Rob’s shoes. He jumped back and tried shaking it off, but it stuck.
‘What is this?’ I asked. The smell coming off the pile was horrifyingly rancid.
‘Can’t you smell it?’ Rob asked rehotorically. ‘It’s dog poo, and I ain’t cleaning it up, screw this!’
I started at the feces, then back to Rob who was now heading for home again. ‘What about the cat?’
He stopped and wiped his shoes on one of his neighbor’s bushes. ‘I don’t have a cat. Told you, I have a dog, and he’s sick, so bye.’ He didn’t seem very pleased with the situation, but his testimony was all I needed to know I had made a mistake.
Hey Pip,‘ Charlie pointed at a nearby tree. ‘Look who’s there.
‘Meow.’

Retrieving Felicia from the tree was an easy task. She jumped down on her own once we called out to her. A small twig was stuck in the fur of the otherwise perfectly healthy feline. I let her rub up against my leg before picking her up and bringing her back to miss Cadsworth, who was ecstatic to be reunited with her companion. She wanted to reward us with cookies, but I said that wasn’t necessary. We were about to run late for dinner, and I was just happy to have the case closed.

Something something shitty detectives.
~ Fang

Comments

  • 06/08/2014 (7:06 PM)

    Well, I wouldn’t hire them to help me out in a pinch, but it did make for a fun story. Curious to see what’s next on deck for these guys.

  • 05/08/2014 (4:31 PM)

    I get it…”shitty detectives” because they were covered in dog poop. I see what you did there. They aren’t that terrible as detectives. They got the case solved in the end.

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