Fang Talks

Drinks in the barpub are on me tonight!
28 02 14

Caves, p68

Sorry for the delay, here’s the new part! (previous)

As the two walked to Nigel’s place, numerous people said hi. Most even specifically addressed Mitchell.
‘Word travels fast, you’re some celebrity already.’ Andrea playfully nudged him. ‘Don’t let that fame get to your head!’
Mitchell shook his head. ‘It feels weird though. Not just because of the whole fame thing.’ He lowered his voice to only be audible to Andrea. ‘I solved a problem I created, and people think I’m great for that.’
‘But they don’t know, so no harm done right?’ She patted him on his shoulder. ‘It had to be done, and at least this way you’re getting recognition.’
He nodded and stared into the distance for a while. ‘Whatever.’

A short minute after they knocked on Nigel’s front door, a woman opened. ‘Hi, you two must be Mitchell and Andrea? Nigel said he expected you today.’ She led them in through a narrow hallway and into what appeared to be the living room of the house. A large bed was situated near one of the windows. Nigel was laying in it, seemingly unable to move very well.
”S good ma, thanks.’ He slightly raised an arm to wave her away, and beckon his guests over. It was wrapped in bandages and had an odd shine to it. ‘Come over folks.’
They walked towards the bed and each grabbed once of the stools standing near it. ‘Damn, Nigel,’ Mitchell started. ‘What happened?’
‘Ya made the thing roast me whole’s what.’ He turned his head a bit so he could look Mitchell in the eye, grunting as he did. ‘Smacked it down my way, couldn’t even blink ‘fore it blew.’
Not too sure what to say, Mitchell raised his hands. ‘I’m so sorry! Didn’t even realize you were still there!’ He wanted to say more, but Nigel gave him a death stare.
‘Ya better make this up to me.’ He swallowed, for dramatic effect. ‘Better make sure I’s mentioned in dem stories of Monster Slayer Mitchell!’ It wasn’t long before he had to drop his facade as he burst into constrained laughter, ending in coughs. ‘Nah man ‘scool. Jussome secondee burns, nu’n I can’t deal. Three weeks max.’

The two guys chatted it up for a bit, sharing comments on how awful it was waking up this morning. Andrea soon interjected, ‘So what did you want Mitch to come over for?’
‘Ah, yeah. Mitch, get up, shake this hand.’ He slowly raised his right hand up, his face turning a bit red due to the effort it cost him. ‘Be gentle with me, boy-o.’ Mitchell followed his instructions and shook his hand as gently as he could. Under strained voice, Nigel continued. ‘Dunno how ya did it, but ’twas some great stuff out there. Damn fine job, thanks.’

Aww man, they’re becoming real good friends. Warms my heart like did Nigel’s skin. (next)
~ Fang


  • 03/03/2014 (5:32 PM)

    I loved the playfulness of this. Really adds to the characters. We’re firm believers that stories shouldn’t be a simple point A to point B narrative with dangerous and exciting things happening constantly. Let your characters have fun with each other. The readers appreciate that. We sure did.

  • 01/03/2014 (2:18 PM)

    Fang, you are getting better and better. Cody and I were discussing what makes a good story just last night and we agreed one important element is making the reader care about the characters…and making them real, having flaws as well as attributes.

    You have made Mitchell likable. Congratulations!

  • Mark
    01/03/2014 (4:59 AM)

    You were doing so well. A whole update of no mistakes that I could see (it’s 4AM and I should be in bed) and then, right there, in that last sentence, you say something like “warms my heart like did Nigel’s skin”.

    Anyway, great little update. Good to know that Mitchell was not in fact responsible for the incredibly painful death of his friend.

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