Fang Talks

Truly ours is the dankest timeline.
19 02 14

Caves, p66

Phew, well, here we go again! Let’s see if we can get some folks brutally killed this time. (previous)

Nigel hurried along the path Mitchell had shown him, all the while waving his arms and screaming slurs at the wyvern. As soon as the monster’s attention was caught, Mitchell started moving as well. Slowly, he made his way behind the wyvern. On the other side, Nigel was slowly driven backward. He could see the wyvern wanted to go in for another breath attack and wasn’t willing to take the whole scorching hot brunt of it.
Mitchell had noticed his first opponent sitting near the back of the cave. It had seen him planning his sneak attack, but hadn’t notified its ally. Were they even allies?

A loud snap brought Mitchell back to focus. The wyvern had taken a bite at Nigel, who was barely able to dodge the assault. Mitchell decided he shouldn’t be waiting around much longer, and just go for a quick strike. His feet picked up the pace. Hands clenching the hilt like before, this time with the blade pointing forward.
As he approached the tail, he focussed on the energy. Guiding its flow, telling it where to go. One jab, one tear, all he needed. He thrusted his sword forward to close the last few centimeters and pierce into the creature’s flesh.
He missed.

The tail had been raised into the air, causing Mitchell’s blade to graze it instead of drilling into it. The tail quickly slammed back down, at an angle. To prevent his legs from getting crushed, Mitchell dropped his sword and jumped, just in time to escape its downward impact, but still slow enough to have it smack against him.
As he laid face-down on the wyvern’s barbed tail he realized how stupid he was to assume it wouldn’t notice. He had seen they were intelligent creatures. He had seen how powerful and clever they were. yet the thought of failure had never crossed his mind. He was so dead set on succeeding he never considered the worse-case scenarios of his plans. He failed by thinking he never would.

‘What’s happening?’ Warren had appeared at the gate. He was wearing light armor and brought dual swords. ‘Mitchell!’ He yelled louder. ‘What’s happening?’
Warren. Of all the people that had to see Mitchell like this, he came. This whole setup was to prove to him the usefulness of gemergy, to keep him from ruining the lives of an entire village. A wyvern would be lured to Whelhaven, it would pose a threat, and Mitchell would fend it off as he did before. A bold but solid plan, in theory. It just wasn’t working out that way.
But it still could.

‘What’s happening?’ Mitchell repeated as he slowly sat himself upright on the tail. ‘I’m showing you gemite power is what!’
He said it, but still had to make it happen. A lot depended on this. He stood up on his feet, and started walking over the wyvern, towards its head. A lot of people’s lives were in his hands. He picked up the pace as he neared its back. Andrea’s life was in his hands. As he maneuvered past the spike on its back, he felt himself bursting with energy. His body was overflowing with it. Some of it got released through his feet, causing them to grip into the wyvern’s scales and leave small wounds. It cried, it shook its body, but Mitchell kept moving.
Before he knew it, he was running up the neck. Quickly taking a deep breath, he bended his knees and jumped up. High. He flew a little past the wyvern’s head, but gravity caused him to quickly rush back down. He extended a glowing fist downward and channeled everything he had into it.
In one explosive hit, he punched right through the largest spike on its head. It got slammed downward and hit the ground, taking most of its body with it. The impact caused it to exhale swiftly, letting out a huge wave of hot air, right over Nigel who could do nothing but shield his face from the blast with his arms.
A soft cracking sound was heard. The wyvern roared, shook Mitchell off, and scurried away. Its companion followed, but not after catching one more glimpse of Mitchell.

I felt pretty bad leaving you with another cliffhanger, so here it is, the largest part of Caves ever written. Feedback harshness much appreciated, I feel like I’m not the best at action scenes. (next)
~ Fang


  • 20/02/2014 (6:13 PM)

    Fantastic battle scene. That was really intense. I love the alternating between the action and him realizing what’s at stake. Really adds emotion to the fight.

    So, being harsh, my only nitpick: the term ‘only barely’ in the first part of the second paragraph sounds clunky, having the two ‘ly’ words smashed together like that. A better alternative would be something like this:

    The wyvern had taken a bite at Nigel, who was barely able to dodge the assault.

  • 20/02/2014 (5:28 PM)

    Great battle scene. I think it really flowed nicely. I think you’re selling yourself short saying you don’t do action scenes very well.

  • 20/02/2014 (2:39 PM)

    I think you did great, except for one tiny mistake in the first sentence where Nigel was referred to as an “it”. You’ve clearly never heard of the principle of evil marksmanship either. Bad guys never hit. Why you gotta melt everyone’s faces? Why? Well done Mitchell, you’re responsible for either melting or killing your best friend.

    Damn dude, you hate your main character.

  • 20/02/2014 (1:17 AM)

    I think your message came across loud and clear. Even with gemite power, fighting a wyvern is tough.

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