Fang Talks

Just like make game!
30 01 14

Caves, p61

Imma just go and skip a decent chunk of the story here and hope it makes for better story flow and tension. That’s how all the pros do it, right? Raising questions. (previous)

‘So for all they know you’re going out scouting, right?’ Mitchell was speaking with a hushed voice. Most people in town were still asleep, and he didn’t want to wake anyone up. Or worse, have their plan found out about.
Andrea nodded. ‘Can we just sort of confirm you still think you’re ready for this? I mean…’ She mumbled a few inaudible words before she snapped back on track. ‘Sure you’ve had three days practice, but if this goes wrong, well, you’re risking a lot.’
‘We’ve gone over this, it’ll be fine.’ He put his hand on his chest and took a deep breath. ‘Besides, the things are quick to flee when they encounter a formidable foe like me.’ He couldn’t help but grin.
Andrea smiled in return. ‘Wipe that smug look off your face and get preparing, I shouldn’t take more than a few hours, noon at worst.’ She spread her arm, ‘Until then,’ and Mitchell came in for the hug, ‘Hang tight.’
‘Make it back in one piece, will you.’ His embrace tightened. He wanted to say more, but couldn’t. They let go, and after one more reassuring look in each other’s eyes, Andrea went into the caves.

The day passed slowly. Mitchell mostly hung around the Bastion. Went for a quick morning training session with his sword. He ran into Roy there. When asked about the current state of the situation with Warren, Mitchell replied things were going alright. Deadline’s tomorrow, right? Yeah. Roy didn’t know about the plan, he probably wouldn’t have liked it. Hell, Mitchell wasn’t a huge fan of it himself. It was the only viable thing he could think up though, so he just had to go with it.

A while later he went up to Warren’s office. He told him how keeping secrets just didn’t sit right. Mitchell showed Warren his wyvern scale necklace and told him how he managed to pierce its claw. How it probably was the gemergy at work, and creatures like that being weak to it. Warren didn’t fully buy it, but had to admit the scale looked pretty authentic. Soon after wrapping that up, Mitchell left, saying he just had to get that off his chest.

Roy noticed him coming down the stairs. He was sitting with Nigel’s crew, but motioned for him to come over. ‘And?’ He expected another status update.
Mitchell couldn’t really give one. Instead, he firmly put his hand on Roy’s shoulder. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I got this.’
‘Yeah!’ Nigel exclaimed. ‘A hand fulla Roy ya got!’ It wasn’t even remotely funny, but some of the boneheads at the table laughed anyway. Mitchell ignored them and headed for the door. ‘Where’s ya goin’, Mitchers? Buy us a round!’ Again, no response. Nigel noticed he had his sword with him. ‘Still usin’ the tiny stinger?’
Standing in the doorpost, Mitchell turned. ‘Don’t worry Nigel, I’ll reserve a place in the spotlights for you!’

I’m feeling… surprisingly good about this! Let me know if that accurately describes this part or not. (next)
~ Fang


  • 03/02/2014 (4:33 PM)

    Looking good. Great interaction between Mitchell and Andrea in particular. And nothing wrong with skipping around. As writers, we don’t have to tell the readers EVERY single thing that happened. What fun is that?

  • 31/01/2014 (7:04 AM)

    Yep. The dialog is better.

  • 31/01/2014 (4:42 AM)

    There was one teeny tiny mistake in the first sentence, as you should have said “a hushed voice”, but other than it was fine. Minus a good chunk of the story being missing. Better get that cleared up in exposition soon. Then again I don’t even remember the last part. Cut me some slack, it’s almost four in the morning and I’ve been sleeping pretty badly. Skipping ahead in the story is fine, just give some context. I.E “The next few days passed without incident.”

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