Fang Talks

She shoots bananas!
26 01 14

Caves, p60

Sixty already! My oh my. The canvas for this part has remained blank for about an hour now, better just go with something. Sigh. (previous)

‘Figured you’d be in there.’ As he exited the library Mitchell was greeted by Andrea. ‘Found anything good?’
‘Hell yeah I did!’ He held up the old pages and waved them in front of his face. ‘Look at this!’
A silence fell, causing the happy doofus expression of Mitchell to fade away.
‘Uh…’ Andrea looked away a couple times. ‘You’re pretty as always. So?’
Mitchell gazed towards the lightstone above as if blaming them. ‘Well it’s not really dark here so it may be hard to see.’ He scratched the scars again. Itchy little annoyance. ‘But my face is glowing!’
She didn’t really get it and frowned. ‘Sure thing pal. So,’ pointing at the book, ‘what’s in there?’
‘No really! Hang on let me try this.’ Upset that Andrea didn’t believe him about his luminescent visage, he tried to strengthen the effect. He recalled the instructions he had read and tried his best to apply them. Though still pretty abstract and vague, he felt like he was starting to get the hang of it.

‘Oh shit dude stop that!’ Andrea got a little freaked out when Mitchell’s scars started emitting distinctly visible light. ‘Your face is drawing enough weird looks as is man.’
He tried pulling the energy away from his scars, and merely by thinking about it the glowing was already getting less intense.
‘So the book taught you…’ Andrea gestured with her hands that she was looking for the right words. ‘How to be a flamboyant magic man?’
The two chuckled over her joke, but Mitchell was quick to jump back to the to him very exciting topic at hand. ‘I think the glow’s because of the gemite stuck in there.’ His hand moved to scratch the scars again. ‘Gets kinda itchy. But yeah, the book’s essentially about using gemergy in all kinds of ways. I have a pretty good idea of how I could make Warren view the stuff as useful.’
‘You do?’ Andrea realized she was really quick to respond there, and corrected herself. ‘I mean, I told you everything would work out!’
Mitchell smiled and shook his head. ‘Of course. So here’s the plan.’

Writing on slippery ice here. And conversations are super hard man, I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot. (next)
~ Fang


  • 27/01/2014 (12:35 PM)

    Conversations just suck to write man. I’m loving the idea that Mitchell has a magical face. I can just picture him creating a gemite shield with his face.

  • 27/01/2014 (7:34 AM)

    Curse you. You’re giving me homework. I’m going to have to go back and read this from the beginning.

    Also, with regards to dialogue. Consider a few things. First, the way that people actually SPEAK can be a bit testing in comparison to DIALOGUE. The reason being is humans tend to have a lot of nuance words, stumbles in phrases or syntax, and the train of thought tends to wander sometimes here to there. One rule I’ve found is to consider what will make an impact with your writing. Do you have the more realistic “Hey.” “Hey, man.” “How ya been.” Etc? Or do you simply state.

    The two exchanged pleasantries, having not seen each other in the last several days. After briefly sharing complaints about school and work, they dug into the project at hand. “It looks like the big issue is this circuit. It’s burnt out.” “Really? That would make sense then.”

    (Yes, rough example, I know). The idea of having dialogue is to help drive the story and the character development. This doesn’t mean that characters need to sound like robots, and instead realistic voice inflections, accents, and speaking habits can make for interesting reading, but alot of the minutia that we throw into our conversations, if transcribed, only bogs down the story and bores the reader.

    THAT ASIDE, don’t feel too bad about the dialogue. Just think about it and think about those rules. Does some of the dialogue really need to be there or can it be summed up briefly in a quick sentence or two? Nonetheless, good job (and I think I need to go catch up on the rest of the story).

  • 27/01/2014 (2:34 AM)

    Looking good. As long as dialogue sounds natural (which yours does), then the rest is cake. Nothing’s worse than wooden dialogue.

    ‘Your face is drawing enough weird looks as in man.’

    I think you mean ‘as is,’ right?

  • 26/01/2014 (10:53 PM)

    This is not bad. I got a chuckle out of “flamboyant magic man.” Dialog for me is hard. My only suggestion is do what you did about writing but not publish immediately. Leave it for awhile or overnight. For me, without fail, I make changes to sentences and often have new ideas about the post.

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