Freestyle wrote yesterday just for the heck of it. Not sure where I was heading, but I’m sure there’s a silver lining in here somewhere.
‘A course ya can!’ He laughs maniacally as he heads for the door. ‘Beside, if ya don’t, ain’t nobody gonna even find yo corpse.’
This is the kind of shit I have to deal with. ‘Fuck!’ I kick my foot against the wall out of frustration. Bad move. Good luck explaining those broken toes to the medics. ‘Fuck!’ Less kicking this time. I know damn well what I did, but I for the life of me never expected to have to deal with the consequences. “Just this one guy”, they said. “His death’ll get you screwed over”, they didn’t say. Well, ‘least the pay’s okay. Too bad most of it’ll be spent cleaning up.
‘Homes?’ Slamming on the front door. ‘Ey homes?’ Piss off man, I can’t supply now. ‘You there?’ I open the door, a friend greets me. ‘Ey man, heard you was in a bit of trouble? All ‘kay?’
‘Shit man!’ I hush him. ‘How’d you know?’ Take a look around to see if anyone may’ve overheard, but the ‘hood’s been empty lately.
The imbecile scratches his head like he’s embarrassed for me or something. ‘C’mon dude, erryone knows your lady left you.’ Oh. Yeah, that. Damn, keeping track of all these coverup lies is getting hard.
I sigh in relief, but don’t make it sound like it. ‘Ah, yeah, y’know how it gets. Nothin’ I wanna share now though.’
‘Is cool man, daworry.’ He puts his hands back in his pockets, back to his slouchy stance. Looks like it’s time for business.
Looks like it’s time for me to tell him to get moving. ‘Can’t do dealing now man, time’s rough.’
He says it’s cool. He thinks it sucks. I say better luck next time. I think he should get himself back to school.
Pathetic fucking tears get excreted from my eyes. I’d say the blood splatters caused it, but that’s not how it is. I’d blame it on the stench, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I’d make up any excuse not to own up to my own cowardice. Left the guy half dead. He limped onto the street, calling out for help. I couldn’t finish it.
For the first time, I couldn’t finish what I started.
‘Yo, ya gots it done yet?’ He bangs on the door.
I’m reluctant to open. Legs shaking, I sit back down in the couch. ‘Yeah.’ I yell.
It takes a second for him to hear me. ‘Wonder how we got ‘im here then.’ Fuck, busted.
How did I get my ass in all this shit again? Oh, yeah, the lies.