Bad jokes aside, this is something that’s been creeping into my life recently.
It’s mostly a thing with my writings, but it’s starting to come up when I’m doing game development as well. I need verification, confirmation that I’m doing a good job, or at least not perpetually creating garbage. Somewhere I know that hasn’t been the case for a couple of years now (you’d be surprised by how much shit gets professionally published), but I still want other people to tell me. It’s weird how I’ve never had this issue, but now that I’m becoming slightly better at the things I do I want people to acknowledge that, no, directly tell me “yes, you are doing good”.
I feel kind of lame for needing it, all the attention, compliments, critique, everything. Sometimes I find myself craving words of advice on what I could’ve done better, it’s a really weird feeling. If it goes unfulfilled then it eventually dies out, sure, but when I get a comment on something of mine it just feel so good.
But then another issue pops up. I really appreciate the continues comments and tips I’ve been getting on Caves (thanks Mark, Brandon and Bryan), but input from other people (hell, having non-writers give their opinions might be useful and fun as well) seems like a really cool but pretty distant thing at this point. I’ve gotten used to my tri-daily fix and now I need more. Always more. Like that one gal who got addicted to eating soap.
The need is still very much controllable though, it’s nothing to worry about yet. Besides, feeling like a little child showing its terribly disfigured drawing to its parents is something I’ve gotten used to now, so that’s good I think.
Wow this was actually a pretty bad blog post. Tell me what you think! (See what I did?)