Fang Talks

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25 09 13

Caves, p33

Not super duper feeling it, and the coming part of the story is one huge gray wishy-washy area, so dis gun b gud. (previous)

The duo came to a halt when they faced a fork in the caves. After waiting for a little bit, Andrea got impatient. ‘Well travel guide, what path do we take?’ Again, there was that playfully mocking tone in her voice.
‘You’re asking me?’ Mitchell shook his head. ‘I figured you’d still know where you found me.’
She smiled, and started walking again, taking the right path. ‘Definitely the man with the plan, yup. Come on.’

As Andrea led the way, Mitchell followed. They passed through the very parts of the caves Mitchell had seen when he first got here. The beautiful, intriguing magic and mystery they had about them had worn off as Mitchell was now aware of their darker, more dangerous side.

‘What’s the deal with this forest here?’ Mitchell asked. ‘Why aren’t the trees being farmed?’ It was the forest they had seen while guiding Mitchell to Whelhaven. Though not as structurally or densely packed as the tree farm they had been to, there was still a decent amount of wood to be collected.
‘Don’t like to admit it,’ Andrea started, ‘but these parts of the caves are still pretty badly charted.’ She pointed to tunnel openings in the sides and ceilings of the cave Mitchell hadn’t even noticed yet. ‘Things could get real ugly real fast if there was a nest of whatever kind of critters close by.’
This caught Mitchell slightly off guard. After his nerves settled down, he came with a follow-up question. ‘Wait, you’re the only one doing that work? The mapping business?’
‘Pretty much, yeah.’ She sighed. ‘Warren used to explore a lot, but his age is starting to do its work. There’s a few other Scouts but they barely ever go deep.’
‘There’s so many people in Whelhaven though. Bound to be someone willing to help.’
Andrea emitted a half-hearted laugh. ‘Nobody’s brave enough to come out here, most don’t even get out of town once a- Hey, you okay?’

Mitchell was standing completely still in the narrow opening between two trees they had just passed through.
‘Woah.’

Odd cliffhanger because I love you. Just figured out how I’m going to take this where I want to, too. Feels good. Be harsh, as always! (next)
~ Fang

Comments

  • 26/09/2013 (3:13 PM)

    Mark stole my comment (not really), but my thoughts pretty much echo his. First, a good section with nothing to criticize. And second, that detail about the charms of the caves wearing off caught my attention also. In a good way. I think that’s a great element that really adds to the story.

  • 26/09/2013 (10:19 AM)

    Again not much to criticise really. I like the little touch of him not being as enthralled by something anymore now that he knows it’s darker side. Though Warren talking about how people in Welhaven earn their place seems a little off if it’s actually full of scaredy cats who barely ever leave the place.

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