Fang Talks

That's cool and all, but how many planets does your software run on?
08 09 13

Caves, p29

“Time to wrap things up for today, have to get up early again tomorrow. …Wait fuck I still have to write Caves!” Every time. (previous)

Mitchell let himself fall onto his bed. It creaked a little under the weight. He closed his eyes and laid his arm on top of them to block what little light was still coming in through the windows. So tired, oncoming headache, everything. He took a deep breath with the intention to sigh, but didn’t. Instead, he held it in for as long as he could. ‘What the hell am I doing?’ he thought to himself. ‘Fuck!’ He ran over the past few weeks or so in his head. It caused his headache to intensify. He just went with everything, but it was turning more and more into a hellhole. He saw the wyvern, could’ve very well been dead by now. But he didn’t die. He didn’t even get a scratch. The others got off much worse. But not Mitchell, no. He had his secret weapon.

He breathed out, finally releasing the air he had been holding in. His body relaxed, melted into the soft bedsheets. It jolted back to reality, stiffening, when more thoughts crept up on him. Why didn’t he tell everyone the truth? About how he damaged the wyvern. Maybe he could’ve gotten some answers, maybe someone could’ve cleared up his confusion. But he didn’t ask, he didn’t tell. Mitchell strained his brain to think of a reason for why he didn’t say a word about it, but all that came to mind was the pain thinking was inducing.
‘It doesn’t even matter anyway.’
He moved his arm off his eyes, blinked a few times and sat up on the side of his bed, staring at the door until he dropped his face into his hands. Who knows, maybe it was all connected. The weird gemstones, the incident with the wyvern, the wyvern-slaying people from the bestiary.
‘It doesn’t even matter anyway.’

Mitchell woke up late in the afternoon the next day. He felt a lot better after such a long night’s sleep, but still had trouble getting out of bed. Despite his slow start, it wasn’t long before he was paying another visit to the Bastion. Though Andrea didn’t seem to be present, he found Roy socializing with his friends as expected.
‘Hey Roy.’ The greeting was monotonous, almost as if rehearsed to that point.
Nigel noticed him before Roy even had the chance to reply. ‘Ey, if it innet the scale-holder!’ Mitchell and him hadn’t spoken much since their little trip, so it was surprising for Nigel to great him so enthusiastically. And with the nickname, too. It’s as if he wanted people to question the validity of his stories.
‘Morning, Mitch!’ Roy calmly said, ignoring his friend’s rowdy interruption.
‘Hey Roy, can you…’ Mitchell’s talking slowed down a little, but quickly picked up pace again. ‘Can you come talk to me for a second?’
The two went outside, and after confirming nobody was around to listen in, Mitchell turned to Roy. ‘You can keep a secret, right?’ His voice was clear with determination.
‘Sure man, you know can trust me.’ Roy lifted up his bad arm a bit, but kept himself from moving it freely. ‘So what’s this all about?’
Mitchell took a deep breath, as if preparing for a longwinded sentence. ‘I’m getting out of here.’

I may be getting a tiny bit better at this. Am I? Be harsh. (next)
~ Fang


  • 09/09/2013 (3:18 PM)

    My only bit of harshness is that “but all he could think of was the pain thinking was inducing” is just a tad awkward. You repeat the word thinking, which makes it a little repetitive. Something better might be, “but all he could think of was the pain this reflection was causing” or something of the sort.

  • 09/09/2013 (12:43 AM)

    I would say you’re getting better. I only noticed one tiny mistake with “it’s starting to turn more and more into a hellhole down here.” “It’s” implies it is and that would make the sentence “It is starting to turn more and more into a hellhole down here” which while it is a proper sentence is in the present tense. That sentence would only work if he said it out loud to someone. I recommend “It was starting to turn into more and more of a hellhole (down there).” I put “down there” in brackets because I’m not sure if you need that even.

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