Fang Talks

It's not a plot hole, it's a plot device!
07 08 13

Caves, p23

Researching the ways bones can break and injuries can occur is rather hard. Seriously, try Googling for an answer to “can you fall on an arm and cause an open fracture of the bone? How easily does that happen?” (previous)

Roy rushed forward and leaped onto the wyvern’s tail. He had to take care not to stop onto one of the spikes, those would surely pierce his foot if he did. As he ran towards the back of the beast it turned its head a bit so it could see the annoyance with one eye. It casually shook its tail but that already was enough force to send Roy flying. ‘Go! Now!’ He managed to yell out to the rest before he hit the ground. He landed on his side. His right arm broke the fall, but the fall broke that arm in return.

From both sides Nigel and Marius came charging. The wyvern dealt with them quickly by slamming its tail into the ground. The resulting tremors caused them to lose their balance. Nigel struggled to stay up but Marius fell over immediately. It attacked them both at the same time with the back of its claws, almost like it was punching.
It became apparent that they didn’t stand a chance. No way to fight it, no way to outsmart it. A dead end. The monster had turned its head towards Mitchell again and stared him in the eyes. It breathed out, closed its mouth and raised an arm in the air, preparing to strike.

‘So this is how it ends?’ Mitchell thought to himself. ‘Getting ripped to shreds by some dragon monster. Why? Things were just starting to get fun.’
The wyvern’s claw was getting closer.
‘If I’m going down I might as well do so fighting. But there’s no way I’m winning this, so what’s the use?’ He looked at his smallsword. ‘I don’t want this to end. Not here, not now.’
A fuzzy feeling welled up from inside of him. Fuzzy, very similar to the way it felt when he touched the odd gemstone formation they found in the forest farm. He felt stronger, empowered to fight this battle. The feeling ran through his arms, into his sword. It started to emit a soft, green-blue glow.
‘Yeah, I need to do this. I can do this.’
His enemy’s arm rapidly came closer. He took a step forward, pointed his blade to the side, and thrusted. ‘Fuck you!’ he roared out. The tip of his sword hit the lower arm of the wyvern. No… It didn’t hit it. It pierced right through!

The beast screeched out in surprise and pain. Mitchell pulled the sword back out. A scale was stuck on it, and the arm it came from was bleeding. Green blood. The wyvern took a second to think, and then quickly scurried off into the tunnel it came from.
Exhausted, Mitchell dropped to the ground. He looked at the scale his now blood-stained sword had pierced. It was roughly the size of a large hand, and about as thick as his own. ‘Heh.’ He smiled, and laid down to rest.

I feel like I’m going “the wyvern/monster/beast” way too often, but eh. Be harsh! (next)
~ Fang

Comments

  • 13/08/2013 (12:53 AM)

    I’m now trying to think of better ways to phrase “nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.” Bah. Anyway I’m not sure if this is an actual thing but I do believe some of those “its” need apostrophes as they’re possessive. I’m now questioning if I even got the right word for my grammar marks. Huh, I am tired. Anyway I did have a nitpick. In the previous chapter you stated that the wyvern had no arms, which implied it was some sort of snake like creature, and now all of a sudden it has claws. But they could be the claws embedded in the wing and probably were, so you can also probably ignore that.

    Also Mitchell needs to turn that scale into a shield.

  • 08/08/2013 (6:50 PM)

    My two nitpicky spots: As mentioned before, be careful with passive wording. “the tail of the wyvern” should be “the wyvern’s tail.” Otherwise it puts the wyvern at the end and leaves him as an afterthought, when he should be the focus (it is HIS tail after all).

    Also, the line: “Nowhere to run to, no place to hide.” This line is kind of cliched and could probably be worded better, since this phrase has been beaten to death (unlike this pesky wyvern, amirite?).

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