Fang Talks

too old for this shit
16 07 13

Caves, p18

The parts feel like they’re getting shorter and shorter… Well as long as they satisfy your need for some hella good writing, it’s all cool right? (But they don’t, so now what?) (previous)

Thud. ‘What the…’ Mitchell woke up. He had fallen out of bed, and it was the noise that woke him, not the pain. That quickly kicked in though. ‘Oww…’ He rubbed his head. A bump was starting to grow on his head, amplifying his already rough headache. He was thirsty, felt grumpy and- Wait. What time was it? ‘Fuck!’ Now he remembered. His group was leaving early in the morning, and it was already bright and bustling outside. ‘Fuck!’

As he put his clothes on, he ran –almost fell– down the stairs. ‘Morning Mitchell! You feeling…’ Galven asked him, but he ran out the door without a word. ‘…better yet?’
‘Excuse me!’ ‘Coming through!’ Mitchell started wondering if going around the market wouldn’t have been faster than trying to force his way through it. ‘Sorry!’
When he finally arrived in front of the Bastion, he found the three musketeers waiting for him. He saw Roy didn’t look too healthy either.
‘What ya been doin’ man? You’re almost an hour late!’ Nigel bursted out. ‘Not cool, showin’ up like this. Next time, you hang.’
After Mitchell made his apologies, and Nigel refused to buy them, they set off.

‘Pretty weird huh,’ Roy whispered to Mitchell, ‘how much a single beer can screw you over.’
‘That wasn’t a single beer I’m pretty sure.’ Mitchell shook his head. ‘I should’ve known it wouldn’t be that smart.’
Roy laughed under his breath. ‘We had a great night though, no regrets.’ He held his hand up for a high five, and Mitchell didn’t leave him hanging.

I like writing like I did the first paragraph. Did it turn out okay? Harshness lasts longest. (And yeah, they are indeed getting shorter.) (next)
~ Fang


  • 18/07/2013 (3:29 PM)

    ^ I’ve fallen out of bed before. Ouch. It definitely can happen, and it definitely can leave a bump.

    Also, my nitpick: this sentence.
    “A bump was starting to grow on his already splitting headache.”

    A headache is something that happens to you, it’s not a physical being, so a bump can’t really grow on it. This sentence should therefore be something like “A bump was starting to grow on his already aching head.”

  • 18/07/2013 (12:15 PM)

    Other than “high-fives” it seems to be another grammatically correct offering. But I am tired and have a lot on my mind. The offerings don’t seem to be getting too much shorter either. As long as it’s long enough for you then it’s all good.

  • 17/07/2013 (6:30 AM)

    How does one fall out of bed headfirst hard and fast enough to injure themselves in that fashion? I’ve never done that to myself before.

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