Fang Talks

17 07 13

Bird shit.

Caw caw motherfuckers.

So I just decided to clean up the terrace a bit. Why? It was covered in avian excrement, that’s why. It had dried up already, so it was a pain in the ass to remove. Lots of tedious scratching and scraping later, things are looking pretty good. Will have to wait for the wood to dry to see if it’s nice and evenly cleaned, but even if it isn’t, at least the poop’s gone.

I’ve learning some interesting things. You know how birds don’t pee, right? Fluids get mixed in with their excrement and come out together in one go. I think the white-colored parts contain more fluid, since those tended to be easier to break loose from the surface it was sticking to. The darker, often black parts, were a lot harder. When adding water to them, their slightly green hue got exaggerated, giving it a dirty dark-green color.

Oh, you want to hear more? Bird poop is also called guano, and apparently some people go nuts for the stuff, since it’s good for facial. “Fertilizes the skin.” Okay, yeah, delicious. Should’ve collected it and sold it to make millions, I guess? Lady please, regular store-bought facials are bad enough as is, no need to smear guano all over your face.

They’re like bomber planes, except smaller and much more annoying.
~ Fang


  • 18/07/2013 (3:30 PM)

    So much more than I ever wanted to know about bird shit. All I know is that a bird started living in my grill, and that was a nightmare to clean up.

    Also, left a comment on the latest Caves, in case you haven’t seen it.

Post a comment

Your email will stay hidden, required field are marked with a *.

Experimental anti-spam. You only have to do this once. (Hint: it's "Fang")