Fang Talks

Support problems

Second part, go read the first one here. This isn’t that great, but I tried.

After I was done with the first log, I noticed it was rather short. Of course there wasn’t much to report on yet, but it’s a bit of a short introduction anyway. Oh well, I’ll make it up to you with this one, regarding what feels like the first day.

I’m feeling rather tired already, so I’m guessing the first day is almost over. Or it could just be the thinking that’s wearing me down. You’re probably familiar with that situation, when you’re tying to fall asleep but can’t, eventually you start thinking about all kinds of things. It’s usually the more negative memories that come to mind. I had the same thing when I sat on bed for most of the day, not knowing what to do. It wasn’t long before all those regrets came kicking in. One of them really stood out, though. About a year back now, my girlfriend left me. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but I later realized that I never paid all that much attention to her. I always took her for granted, and continued working on whatever I was writing at that time. I still feel pretty bad about that, and think it may also be part of the reason for my writer’s block. It’s the punishment I deserve, I guess. I really did love her, and I still do, but I messed up, I chose my career over her. It’s a mistake I’ve learned from, one I won’t make again, but I often wish I never would’ve made it in the first place. The words you’re reading here don’t really do it justice, but what I felt for her was so strong, everything felt so right, and yet I… I cried over it earlier today, and I’m tearing up again right now.

On a brighter note, a slice of bread with strawberry jam on it came out of the dispenser today! Those are supposed to be really rare, but they’re also really delicious, so that cheered me up a bit. Too bad I was in such a hurry to eat it, and didn’t think to wait for a regular slice to eat it with. They’re pretty dry and tasteless otherwise. Oh well, we learn from out mistakes, right?

Another thing I thought about was the possibility that this experiment is going to turn out a failure. It’s kind of a scary thought. I’ll be locked up in here for seven days straight, God know what will happen to me during that time, and I don’t want to go through it all for nothing. But let’s not think about that too hard, I’ve got to keep my mind set on the positive things if I don’t want to break down immediately.

That will be all for today. I’ll try to get some shuteye, though I need to avoid moving too much, since the bed is rather noisy. It’ll be a challenge for me. I usually move around a lot, and one time I even woke up with my feet on my cushion. It’s all fine though as long as I don’t fall out of bed. The floor doesn’t seem like too comfy a place to sleep on.

The days got to go by faster, I want to write him going insane.
~ Fang

Comments

  • 06/12/2012 (2:23 AM)

    I think it takes more than seven days to go insane unless there’s something else going on too. Like he has a lot of dark thoughts he can’t get rid of, hunger pains, and sleepless nights. If he doesn’t get much REM sleep he’ll crack pretty quickly. Luckily these are all valid situations given what you’ve written. I’d say he cracks around day four or five.

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