Fang Talks

Megalomaniac

So, like, hear me out dude.

So my laptop has an alumin(i)um body. This has all sorts of fun and practical applications. The (hopefully) intended idea from the manufacturers is that it’s used as a heatsink, to keep the innards (think CPU and GPU) nice and cool. In theory, it does just that. In practice, it does so much more.

I honestly can’t live without this thing anymore. You know how my room is always cold in the winter due to the radiator not going on when needed? I no longer need to worry, my laptop is there for me! I’ll use my cold hands to quickly open a game before they become frozen solid. I set the game to its highest graphical settings, and play with my hands on the keyboard. You can feel the warmth rise from the laptop and seep into your skin, and your fingers are frozen no more! (Do not let the molten ice drip onto the laptop though.)

And then there’s those awful mornings, and nothing seems to be able to cheer you up. But then you remember you have an aluminum laptop, and start making something good of your day. You open a program that calculates the hashes for random strings, flip it over, and put some bacon on the butt of your laptop. It starts sizzling, and soon after, it’s looking nice, but still ever so slightly rare. You quickly grab an egg, crack it open on your forehead, and let the unfertilized baby chick flow over the bacon. More sizzles, a few minutes of your time, and you have prepared a lovely breakfast!

Joke’s on me though my thighs have third-degree burns now.
~ Fang

Comments

  • Anonymous
    16/12/2012 (7:11 PM)

    it also protects your laptop (an itsy bitsy bit) against an EMP attack!!!! :D

  • 14/12/2012 (11:24 PM)

    I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be cooking breakfast on your laptop. You’re also impotent now! Though seriously I’m not sure how good that sounds. Usually when a laptop gets hot it’s not such a good thing. I guess it’s less evil when the insides are nice and cool and only the outside is hot. If it stays that way, it’s pretty cool.

  • 14/12/2012 (8:36 PM)

    You do realize you’re also frying your balls. ._. Get that thing off your lap before you render yourself sterile.

Post a comment

Your email will stay hidden, required field are marked with a *.

Experimental anti-spam. You only have to do this once. (Hint: it's "Fang")