Fang Talks

Bananas, in pajamas

I really have nothing of value to say today.

Today’s been hella hot, I’m hella tired, and those conditions don’t really make me feel so good. So due to lack of content I present you with the following.
I wrote the it a few hours back in a short burst of creativity. Just as a writing exercise, to see what I could get out of one short sentence that came into my mind. I’m not intending to do more with it, but if you guys are all “oh this has potential” then eh, I may look into the possibility.

‘Julie, you can’t just leave now!’
She stopped in her steps towards the door, and turned her head.
‘There’s no place for you to go right now, and you know it! Your parents won’t even listen to you, you’re all out of friends, and besides, you’re butt naked save for that skimpy and rather see-through dress.’
Neill’s sense of humour was unwavering. No matter how heavy the situation, he’d lighten it up a bit. Julie liked that attribute of his, but sometimes she felt like she wasn’t being taken seriously.
‘You promised to take care of me, didn’t you?’ Her hands automatically started pulling at her dress. Neill’s remark about it made her feel a bit uncomfortable about it. ‘It was an honest promise, but it’s so like you to break those, and you do it oh so easily.’
Neill put a hand to his face and sighed, then looked Julie straight into her eyes again. ‘I always stick up for everyone when I can, and you know it. It’s like my fucking job, being the backbone of everyone’s lives! And you know what? I’m okay with that! I just think that it’s not that much to ask, for those who I support to carry only a tiny amount of their own weight.’

The two of them weren’t getting anywhere fast. They’ve been at this for a while now, bickering for close to two hours straight. Neill’s left cheek was still red from when Julie slapped him, and both of their voices had gotten a bit hoarse from all the screaming at each other. It was a miracle the neighbours hadn’t come and complained about all the noise yet.

‘A tiny amount? Really? You’re being downright unreasonable with this. And instead of asking, you demanded I helped you out. You didn’t even ask nicely!’
‘You knew what kind of business I was in from the very start. When I took you in and promised to take care of you, and boy did you need that care, I also explicitly stated what kind of life I lived, and that there was a chance you would get involved. Right now you’re just freeloading. And besides, I did ask nicely!’
‘Sure you asked. But you asked me to help you kill a man, Neill. You asked me to help kill!’

Tell me what you think about it maybe?
~ Fang

Comments

  • 20/08/2012 (2:57 AM)

    I liked it too, and I think it’s capable to stand on it’s own as a short story.

  • 19/08/2012 (9:04 AM)

    Whether or not it has potential is up to you. Because I see potential in anything but if you don’t have the motivation to continue with it nothing we say can really change that right?

  • 18/08/2012 (11:03 PM)

    I really liked it and I’d like you to expand on it more.

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