Coincidentally a guide on how to wake up, how to stay awake, and how to get proper shut-eye so you don’t need gratuitous amounts of caffeine to begin with.
Before I begin, apologies in advance for the awkward writing style and absence of curse words. Apparently Google bots pick up on that and mark my pages as “explicit content” for some reason, hence why ads don’t display sometimes. Bollocks.
Wake up in the morning, feel a lack of sleep. Take a look into the mirror, yeah you look like a creep. Before you leave, brush your teeth with a can of coffee. ‘Cause if you leave for the day, you wanna stay awake.
Yeah, you slept badly, can’t get yourself to focus on stuff, or whatever. You down a cup of the good stuff, caffeine boost, ready to go.
At work later that day, only a few hours before the end of your shift, you start feeling burned out, take a break, drink more coffee, and back into the battle zone you go!
You come home, do your evening rituals, whatever, and go to bed. But what you didn’t realise is that the effects of caffeine last up to eight hours (or more depending on bodily conditions and whatnot), so you’re basically trying to get some shuteye while you’re still pumped with anti-sleep goodness. I think you’re doing it wrong.
Youth these days downs an incredible amount of energy drinks. You know, those gross, high-sugar, high-caffeine, bull-piss drinks. And then they complain they can’t sleep. And then they drink that stuff to stay awake in school. And then it’s basically an infinite cyclus of never-sleep-well-ever-again.
Sure, if you’re having a really bad day and feel like you really need it, then go ahead. But don’t drink it all day erry day, that’ll mess up a whole lot more than just your sleep.
What was the point I was making again?
Oh, yeah. Caffeine is a cool guy, but don’t overdo it. Besides, your body’ll get used to it quickly, so you’ll just need more and more and more until you’re eating pure caffeine for breakfast, dinner and lunch.