Fang Talks

Really Stupid Injury

Had a party last night, to celebrate my friend’s and my birthday. Yeah, very late, but a damn good time nonetheless.
In case you weren’t there (which is almost all of my readers), you sure missed something.

People have been pointing out that there’s quite a few grammatical and format errors. That’s most likely due to me just typing it and be done with it, and not re-reading it before posting it. I should, though, seeing as how I’m now officially going through with this.
I also need one or two proof-readers. I’ve already sent a mail out to a real life friend of mine. She’s awfully good at English, so I hope she’ll want to help. If any of you want to help me out, then give me a heads up and an email to mail the parts to before they’re posted.

I’ll get back to checking grammar and stuff later, here’s the third part for now.

Or at least they tried to punch him in the face. But the punch was blocked. By the kid. The powerless little wimp.
‘I said…’ A very low-pitched voice compared to the voice you’d expect from a kid his age. ‘Better hand it over, before someone gets fucking hurt!’ Very loud shouting, the guys were a bit scared now.
The buff guy tried to pull back, but he couldn’t. The weird kid had put his nails into the fist he blocked. Nails? No, those were… Those were claws!

Fur started growing all over the kid. A tail, a longer nose, animal ears. Tremendously big fangs started growing inside his mouth.
It wasn’t long before the robbers were facing a six foot tall wolf.
Very strong body build. Huge muscles all over. Dark-grey skin, bright-red eyes. Big tail, put up high into the air. And above all, a huge pair of fangs.

‘N-nice trick y-ya got there.’ one of the guys said.
The wolf breathed heavily. ‘Nice trick?’ The same heavy voice from before. ‘I’ll show you a nice trick!’ He hit them with his tail, sent them flying into the nearest wall.
The guys tried making a hasty retreat. The two friends succeeded, the one who stole the necklace didn’t. The wolf held him down under one of his front paws.
‘Okay, okay!’ he was clearly cowering with fear. ‘Here have your stupid fucking necklace back!’ He got it out of his pocket and threw it away. ‘Now let go of me let go of me!’
The wolf growled. ‘How about no?’ He put some more pressure on the poor guy’s body. He must’ve been pretty close to breaking a few ribs.

A slender boy came running around the corner. ‘Oh shit oh shit!’ He didn’t seem too scared of the wolf, though. ‘Oh shit oh shit!’
‘Kid! Help me out here!’ the guy yelled, with the very little breath he had left.
‘I’m trying I’m trying!’ the boy replied. He looked about the age of seventeen.
‘Hurry the fuck up man!’
The boy got a pinkish crystal out of his pocket. ‘Wolf, let go of the guy!’
The wolf put on even more pressure. You could hear a few ribs snapping. The boy trembled a little. ‘Stop it now!’ he yelled, as he started running around the wolf, drawing a circle on the ground with the crystal.
‘I want to…’ the wolf roared. ‘I want to kill the motherfucker!’
There now was a well-drawn circle around the wolf, but the guy was already coughing up blood. Two small circles were drawn inside of the bigger circle, and the boy put his hands in them. ‘Easy now, calm down! Give the kid a chance!’
‘Thought you could get me with a puny-ass sealing circle?’
‘Yes I do!’ The boy looked like he was really stressing himself. The wolf was most definitely getting smaller though. ‘Told you!’ the boy smiled.

By the way, what’s the proper syntax for people speaking? Is their speech never or sometimes followed by a capital?

Hope you like it,
~ Fang


  • 20/10/2011 (6:03 PM)

    wolfies! :>
    haha. i’m not really a fan of the broken sentences and the clauses stuck together in a sentence, though. would have been okay if they didn’t dominate nearly everything.

  • 18/10/2011 (5:21 PM)

    Starting to feel Buffy-ish. This can go both ways! I’m putting my faith in you.

    Again with a few repetitions I’d like to edit out. If you gave this to me on paper I could go nuts with a red pen and point out all the things, all of them, but I’m warning you, if you ask me to critique this I’ll start hallucinating and marking things that aren’t there :)

    Continuously jealous of how your writing moves so fast in so little space. I don’t have this ability. Just look at this motherfuckin’ comment.

    I like all the fangs. They feel so relevant.

  • 18/10/2011 (5:17 PM)

    Hmm.. hmm….. I think I should read the first 2 parts of the story. I will do so, when I get back from my week-long vacation..

    it’s your birthday? :D Happy happy birthday to you, Fang! :)

  • 17/10/2011 (6:51 PM)

    I knew it! I saw it coming from a mile ago. I only wished that the kid was a girl though. I bet the other kid is also another beast in human form.

  • 17/10/2011 (5:50 PM)

    @Lendo they are fluffy but that doesnt mean they are weak haha

  • 17/10/2011 (3:45 PM)

    I’m kind of OCD in terms of proof-reading and editing. I go through several before I even submit a post.

  • 17/10/2011 (5:36 AM)

    @Mark Oh yeah, I saw the heresy too… haha.

    Actually, I’m surprised the tail of this wolf was that strong… I though wolves had fluffy dog-like tails.

  • 17/10/2011 (12:24 AM)

    I liked the story, maybe you could expand on the magics of that particular universe at some point? [:

  • 16/10/2011 (7:55 PM)

    If you find out the answer to that last question then let me know. As for proofreading I can give it a shot. Jessie has me read her work, and although I’m just checking to make sure it’s still good, I do notice the errors. But I haven’t noticed that many, if any, with yours, so I would recommend someone else. This is another good piece of work, but all I could really think was “FURFAGS, FURFAGS EVERYWHERE!”.

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