Fang Talks

what's good in the %hood?

A surprisingly large amount of people showed interest in what fiction I was working on, so I decided to post most of what I’ve got so far.

This is currently still WIP (work in progress), but this seems like a pretty solid opening, and I’m getting more and more ideas of where I’m going with this.
If all goes well, special pages will be made for fiction (and possibly something audio-book like?).

Enjoy. Feedback on my writing style would be much appreciated! (And those who tell me it’s “a good read” or “well-written” without any good reasons get a boot to the head.)


Huge wolf running through the forest. Hunters hot on his trail.
A spear was thrown, hind leg hurt. A barrage of spears and arrows ensued. The wolf, not as mighty as he once was, had been slain.

A necklace dangled loosely around some kid’s neck. Thin black strings holding it together. A transparent crystal at the end. In the right light, it occasionally appeared to have a tint of green, sometimes red to it.

‘Heyo, kid.’ An intimidating looking fellow approached him. ‘That necklace ya have, where you got it from?’
The kid wondered why that person talked like that. ‘G-got it from my grandmother when I t-turned eight.’ He stuttered because of the seemingly dangerous situation, and because he was telling a lie. He didn’t know where he got the necklace. It had been around his neck for as long as he could remember. It had a calming vibe to it, and he couldn’t be at ease without it.
‘Yeahright,’ the punk raised his voice. ‘I betcha it’s stolen. Better hand it over now, eh?’
The kid took a few cautious steps backward. Two other guys with the same intimidating look approached. Friends of the first one?
‘Just give up aready, it ain’t worth shit and it don’t look no good on you either.’ They approached the kid, who took another step backward.
‘L-leave me alone!’ the kid shouted, and ran away as fast as his legs could carry him. Which, sadly, wasn’t all that fast.

While there was still a little bit of distance between the kid and his pursuers, he ducked into an alley, even though he knew it was a dead end. He found chance to quickly hide in a container. Oh, that smell, terrible.
He heard them entering the alley. ‘Kid went this way, must be hidin’ somewhere ’round here.’
Why did they want his necklace? Was it really that valuable? Maybe he should just hand it over and be done with it… No, he couldn’t do that. Something about that just doesn’t feel right.
He held the crystal of the necklace in his hand. Held it tight. He could feel its smooth surface, the way it curved. It was shaped somewhat like a fang, now that he thought about it. An ancient artifact, perhaps?

The footsteps of the punks could no longer be heard. Maybe they gave up and left? There was no way for the kid to be sure about it. There was no way to look out of the container without raising the lid. He went ahead and looked out, they probably weren’t around anymore anyway.


Oh geez I wonder what’ll happen next!
~ Fang

Comments

  • 20/10/2011 (5:22 PM)

    good read.
    haha. seriously though. i liked it. fast-paced and exciting right from the start. can’t wait to read what happens next.

  • 18/10/2011 (5:13 PM)

    DWei’s comment<3

    I think it’s amazing you can write like this when English isn’t your first language hgjdsgh all my jealousy.
    Agreed with Mark. I’ll go read the rest now and then let the hammer of my justice fall.

    (I call it… Wrinklefucker.)

  • 16/10/2011 (10:09 AM)

    lol lendo

  • 15/10/2011 (8:44 PM)

    I speculate that the giant wolf is a godly beast and he didn’t die, he transformed into a kid and lost all his memories. That fang could be the key to enter god’s realm

  • 15/10/2011 (6:54 PM)

    You bitch for ending it on a cliffhanger like that. I will say good read, and not give a reason why. Okay, well at the start, it was quite intense action, and you used short sharp sentences that were straight to the point, this builds tension and suspense, and like I said, that was tense, quick, action.

  • 15/10/2011 (5:57 PM)

    Sodomy of a unconsenting nature is what’s going to happen next. This will cause all the buckets to be filled.

    All of them.

  • 15/10/2011 (3:08 PM)

    Oh godn this was scary! I once wrote a piece about a big wolf too… it was crap.

  • 15/10/2011 (7:20 AM)

    That necklace better not awake an ancient evil.

  • 14/10/2011 (11:08 PM)

    I wonder that myself! Can’t wait to read the next part!

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